According to the UK government website in 2020 the male suicide rate was 15.3 per 100,000* compared to the female suicide rate of 4.9 per 100,000*.
These facts are overwhelmingly sad. Still, too many of us believe that men don’t need help because they are strong. I have been working with many male clients and I can confidently say that therapy is working for men as well as women (and those who self-identify), helping them to heal their past and leave behind beliefs that limit their life, wellbeing and success.
So, how could we help men understand that asking for help and talking to someone is not a sign of weakness but quite the contrary, it’s a sign of strength to be able to be vulnerable at times and allow other people to help and contribute?
Firstly, if you have received help, please share this with others. It is not taboo nowadays to admit that you needed help with your issues. Please share with your close ones, how did it help you and what has changed. The best way to help your close ones is to inspire them by your own steps towards sorting out either negative thought patterns that are outdated or may be working on your negative coping mechanisms that are now self-sabotaging your success. It’s very common for men to not talk about these things, ignore their needs and suffer alone, but if you would open up, that would make it easier for them to do the same.
Secondly, it’s time to see people as human beings rather than labels we put on them or the roles they play in life. We are all the same, made from flesh and blood, wanting to be loved, cared for and respected. The pressure men put on themselves by trying to cope and convince themselves that they are strong is immense and absolutely unnecessary. Temporary need of help is nothing to feel ashamed of because every human needs help at times. Let’s break the beliefs and expectations society has put on roles that don’t serve us anymore, in our hearts we are all the same. So, if you look for RTT for men, therapy for men, or coaching for men, I am here to help you as a fellow human being.
At last, our past plays a huge role in how we cope as adults. Therefore, it’s insensitive to compare ourselves to others because our past makes us different from each other. The beliefs that we create and live by as children made our life either a pleasant or painful journey. The most common beliefs among men are “I have to be strong”, “ I need to look after others”, “emotions are for weak” and “men don’t cry”.
As a child, if your needs weren’t important and your emotions went unnoticed, you learnt to behave as expected of you. Now as an adult, you most likely do the same- you keep ignoring, pushing hard and suffer in silence. Unfortunately ignoring your own needs will bring you closer to breakups in your relationships, burnouts at work and create problems with your mental wellbeing and overall health. Also, it may push you to use food, alcohol or drugs to numb that discomfort or pain you are going through.
It’s time to drop dogmas around men in therapy and welcome a new understanding that can provide our men with the capacity to be better partners, loving fathers and all in all happy and successful human beings.
If you are in need of help or you know someone, please share this post with them. Contact me for a free consultation call on firstname.lastname@example.org and together we can decide what is the best way forward to you.
As a therapist and coach, I help my clients to heal past wounds and let go of behaviours that they seem to have no control over. The tools and techniques I use are efficient in spotting and clearing the root cause of issues, this then allows you to create a new belief system that will give you the results you need.
The change starts with you and within you!
If you have any questions, please contact me for a FREE discovery call or send me an email at email@example.com